A desert-set "Aliens" rip-off with no-budget creature effects that look like H.R. Giger by way of "South Park," "Unearthed" is a dismal failure on every level. Set in a nowhere town in New Mexico, a troubled sheriff (Emmanuelle Vaugier) and a ragtag group of zero-dimensional doofuses must fight to survive when a parasitic monster goes on the prowl. Mostly, they just stumble around in the dark—the humans, that is. Directed by Matthew Leutwyler with the skill of someone who has never seen a camera before, let alone picked one up, "Unearthed" gets everything wrong. The cinematography is muddy and shaky, the lack of lighting makes the action indecipherable, the actors look like they are bored to tears, and the pacing is slower than a one-legged tortoise. Worse yet, "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" is scarier. The amateurish "Unearthed" is notable for only one scene: an unintentionally hilarious moment when a character is catapulted backwards by an explosion and actually does a flip in mid-air! Otherwise, the pits.